Bazooka Bill (For My Son Tony)

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On Christmas day 1995,

Our house was very much alive.

Well! All of that was soon to change,

The living room became a firing range.

No more peace on earth, or goodwill,

Because of our lad Bazooka Bill.

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For Christmas, he got a bazooka gun,

And so did Martyn, my other young son.

It started raining soft sponge balls,

Amid lots of curses - shouts and calls!

But in the end, dad had the last laugh.

He pinched a bazooka and shot his wife Kath.

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Bazooka Bill was not amused,

And with great vehemence, he enthused.

"That's my bazooka; I'll thank you please."

"For you, to give it right back to me!"

Or else! He said, holding Martyn's gun.

"I'll blow you into kingdom come."

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On hearing that, I just had to laugh,

Quickly reloaded, after shooting Kath.

I turned around, and to my surprise.

I was shot, right between the eyes.

Bazooka Bill thought that was fun,

And quickly reloaded his bazooka gun.

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While dad was dying on the living room floor,

Bazooka Bill was still at war,

Well, Martyn was looking a little glum.

Because he had lost his bazooka gun,

But in the end, he saved the day,

And Bazooka Bill would have to pay. 

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Picking up the redundant weapon.

Bazooka Bill, he then did threaten.

He got him pinned down, behind an armchair.

While Bazooka Bill moaned. "It's not fair!"

With the swiftness of hand, that defeats the eye.

He skilfully let four balls fly.

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Each one of the balls hit their mark.

And everyone thought it a bit of a lark.

Soon it was over he raised a white flag;

It was a Morrisons carrier bag.

Being defeated in war, wasn't a thrill.

Thus ended the career of Bazooka Bill!