J.C's Second Coming
The Lord came down from heaven,
To visit, old Skipton town.
For he wanted to do some shopping,
But he visited Skipton on Tuesday,
And the market wasn't around.
"Well beggar me!" Said, Jesus.
"I think I've made a mistake,
I only descended from heaven.
To buy five wholemeal loaves,
And a couple of pieces of Hake."
But J.C. also had other business,
For he'd suffered a terrible crime.
At the hands of Pontius Pilate and Co,
So he went to see a solicitor.
To be told, “You're wasting your time!"
And lo, the Lord left the house of law.
For he needed some time to think.
A tad dismayed, the Lord went away.
Across the road, to the hotel Black Horse,
For, he desperately needed a drink.
And verily! I say unto you.
The Lord. Well, he entered that pub.
Where the wine and beer were flowing,
Yea, the Spirit was dispensed by optics.
So the Lord sat down and ordered some grub.
He hailed for a grail, of red wine.
And a ploughman's was brought on a platter.
'T was not your typical, Biblical last supper,
And after a grail or two, or even three.
To our Lord, it didn't really matter
And it came to pass, the bill was prepared.
But our Lord, his last few quid, nearly spent,
Being a few bob short, was a little worried.
And verily I say unto you, A fiver he borrowed.
Because after all, it was the time of Lent.
With his veritable feast passed over,
The Lord. Decided to go for a walk,
On the top of the canal, Leeds, Liverpool.
And yea met up with a throng of Craven anglers,
Saying unto them, "Cast out thy nets!" And other, such talk.
And lo, Jesus grew weary of travelling.
He was looking for somewhere to sit,
Finding a bench opposite the pork pie shop.
Thought - This is a nice place to be!
Craven D.C disagreed, and served a notice to quit.
Unto a colony of travellers Jesus wandered.
Where he was welcomed, with a bit of a fuss,
They laid before his feet cannabis leaves;
And yea, unto him they gave a joint also.
And our Lord, well he's a hippie; and living in a bus.
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